My Dear Uganda 9 - well, 8!
I just wanted to share some fairly new revelations with you, and to thank you for your prayers for me, and God's direction in my life. I have struggled the last two months since our return with a range of emotions, doubts and uncertainties about whether God really wanted me to be in Africa. So many questions about my son's involvement -( did I have the right to inflict such a huge change on him, how would this affect his education, possibly his health, separating from hid Dad, etc.), my own suitability to life in Africa -(am I too old, out of shape, too spoiled and attached to my western amenities - does COTN even want me, is this really God's will for me, or just some way of filling an emptiness in my own life?) - these have plagued my thoughts day and night. Anyway, I sat down and read the two angels story again, and the instructional material attached, and it seemed that God said very quietly to me as I read it that this is what I am meant to do, and showed me that my own pain and subsequent healing from my failed marriage and the trauma involved was meant to be healed through this work, and used in this work to reach out to others in the unique way that only this work offers. I can't describe adequately the feeling of peace and certainty I felt as I read the material and allowed God to speak through it to me. I wish I could say it was due to reading a Bible passage, or hearing a message in church, since these may have more spiritual credibility in some way, but the peace is there just as surely as if it happened in a more conventional way, and I thank Him for it.
Many years ago, I was involved in starting an outreach to unwed mothers in my church, which ultimately the church decided not to support due to political and economical concerns, which was disappointing then, but I understand now. I designed a program, and even named it the "windbreak ministry", and envisioned a windbreak with a cradle on the other side of it with a baby in it for a logo. As I was reading, God brought this to my mind, and gave me the idea of possibly developing a windbreak ministry in Malawi or Uganda, building a clinic for physical and emotional healing. I would love to develop a mother/baby clinic and also use some of the rooms in the clinic for counselor training and education or ministry to those suffering from emotional trauma. This is very new, and needs much thought, prayer and refinement in vision and planning, but I just wanted to share some of the beginnings of this idea with you, and invite your feedback.
Mostly right now, I want to thank you for the part each one of has played in my life, and for your prayers. I will keep you posted on how this all unfolds. I am praying about taking at least three months or perhaps a year next year to investigate the feasibility of this dream, and see where God leads. Please continue to pray for me and for my son Andrew as we seek His will in this. I continue to pray for you and send you my love. With a grateful and eager heart - Nancy
